Ew, Sir. Ew.

Last night, on my evening walk home from work, I reached the corner and stopped for the light. A man was already waiting at the corner and, just as I approached, he let out the most enormous fart. Not at me, per se, but in my general direction. He acknowledged neither my presence nor the fart. I, meanwhile, had to suppress laughter.
He looked so respectable, otherwise. Of course, were I in his position, I might choose to willfully ignore what sounded perilously close to a shart, too.

Here. Have a relevant lolcat to cleanse your mind.