I Loathe the US Post Office

I have a long, sordid history with the USPS. Today was their latest coup in their ongoing battle to keep my mail from me.

For a change, I won something in a contest: an autographed copy of the Tord Boontje book that CoolHunting was giving away. Yay me! Was very excited, and asked Afshin every day upon getting home, "Did my book come today?" Until yesterday, the answer was no. Yesterday we'd gotten a little card saying that we'd missed a package and would have to pick it up from the post office. Naturally, while our mail is usually delivered late in the day, packages can show up at any and all times, generally while I'm at work and Afshin is at the gym (or, in the past, in class, or at lunch, or in the shower...any time he wasn't available, basically). So they tried to deliver the book while he was at the gym this time. I asked him if he'd pick it up at the post office for me today, as I had to go to work today, the post office will be closed tomorrow, and I'll actually be out of town from tomorrow night through next Wednesday. Being an obliging fellow, he said yes.

So Afshin takes the little "sorry we missed you—sucker" tag and trundles off to the post office. They won't give him the package because it's for me. He shows the woman that the address on his driver's license matches that on the package tag, so he and I clearly live at the same address. No. He explains that I asked him to pick it up and offers to call me and have me speak to the woman at the post office. No. He asks if he should have had me sign the tag first. No. It apparently wouldn't matter if I'd signed it, because I still wouldn't be there in person. He points out that, had he been home when it had been delivered, he would have been able to sign for it. Yes. But he can't do that at the post office? No. So (he offers this hypothetical situation), a thief could break into our apartment, show no ID, and sign for a package, but he, with ID that states he lives at the address listed on the package, cannot pick it up from the post office. No. ("And I actually presented that exact situation to her," he told me.)

He also pointed out that he's picked up packages for me before, to which the woman countered that whoever let him do so "must not have been paying attention." "Could you not pay attention?" he asked. No. (She wasn't nasty, apparently. Just firm as hell.)

So he had to reschedule delivery. For next Tuesday, since I'll definitely be gone, he may be out of town for a few days, and he has a dentist appointment on Monday. Tuesday he can stay home all bloody day waiting for the package, though. I would have had it redirected to my office address, but the post office doesn't do anything that convenient. That's just UPS (which is inconvenient for a host of other reasons, but not that one).

I detest, despise, and loathe the post office.