Umbrella Chronicles

Oh god. I've clearly been at this job too long: I just made a bad video game pun. Anyway, I have a complaint. When it comes to rain, the citizens of the Bay Area are morons. You'd think that San Franciscans would comprehend the concept of rain, what with their constant fog and all. No. Apparently, once the water vapor that forms fog starts dripping on people instead of rolling across the top of buildings, San Franciscans go into panic mode. I counted no less than three of those massive golf umbrellas in a two-block stretch this morning. I'm sorry, but people who carry sidewalk-hogging golf umbrellas (and generally use them like battering rams) deserve to be sodomized with said umbrellas. Jerks. Unless they're on an actual golf course, naturally. Rain also seems to engender confusion in drivers and pedestrians—I watched the same idiot nearly get hit by a car twice in about one minute. It's just water and it happens every winter, people. Deal.