Ew, Sir. Ew.

Last night, on my evening walk home from work, I reached the corner and stopped for the light. A man was already waiting at the corner and, just as I approached, he let out the most enormous fart. Not at me, per se, but in my general direction. He acknowledged neither my presence nor the fart. I, meanwhile, had to suppress laughter.
He looked so respectable, otherwise. Of course, were I in his position, I might choose to willfully ignore what sounded perilously close to a shart, too.

Here. Have a relevant lolcat to cleanse your mind.

Waking Before Walking

It's another day in Kaitland, and I, the Great Kait, am tired. (Yes, that's my official title. So there. Mnyah.) This shouldn't be surprising, as I'm always tired. I might have hit a new low today, though: I fell asleep while waiting for the light to change. Perhaps I should clarify. I wasn't riding in a vehicle of any sort. Nope, just standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change. I closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, I had three seconds left to cross. I dashed. Felt mightily foolish, I tell ya what.

Wacky German Design to the Rescue!

Know how I've previously mentioned that I need a sleep helmet? Well, they actually make one! Sign me up, baby. I just need to learn how to read German first. What they won't think of next.